So, I was feeling all good about myself this morning. Wake up on time – check. Pick out a cute outfit for work (and actually fit into it) – check. Get out the house by 6:45 a.m – check. Eat a protein packed breakfast – check. Cross things off your work to-do list (and actually do the things, not just check them off) – check. Today was going so well. And then, the dreaded email popped up in my inbox: “donuts and orange juice: by the microwave…Happy Friday everybody! 😀”
OHHHH, FUUUUDGE! I normally have indestructible will power. You can wave cookies, cake, brownies, ice cream, candy, and pretty much anything sweet in my face, and I’ll do no more than say a polite “no, thank you.” You can dangle cupcakes, chocolate croissants, and pastries in front of me, yet I will not follow. I can even resist Dunkin Donuts. But please, oh please, don’t bring Krispy Kream into the office. Just don’t. Because, I have now barricaded myself into my office. Like a paranoid hermit. I put the “please do not disturb” sign on the INSIDE of my door.
Because if I go near the kitchen. I will devour at least 6 of those delightful glazed donuts.
I’m not even kidding. When I was in high school eons ago, our varsity football team sold KK donuts as a fundraiser. And good little cheerleader I was, every Wednesday (or was it Thursday? Memory is shaky because I’m old) I would buy a dozen. I would share 6 and eat 6. Sometimes, I would then eat a few more of a friend’s donuts because he didn’t want to eat the whole dozen. It was disgusting. No wonder I had just a big butt and chesticles in the 90s.
So you see, I have a serious problem with KK donuts. And I’m not leaving my office until they’re all gone. Fortunately I filled up my water bottle when I first got to work, so I should stay nice and hydrated. But, if you don’t hear from me in a few days, please send help. I’ll be really hungry and will have to go to the bathroom.